{"id":5417,"date":"2011-10-31T15:26:33","date_gmt":"2011-10-31T15:26:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/?p=5417"},"modified":"2015-06-12T16:21:47","modified_gmt":"2015-06-12T15:21:47","slug":"how-family-and-friends-can-help-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/?p=5417","title":{"rendered":"How family and friends can help"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><div id=\"jwplayer-1-div\" class=\"STARS\">\n<div id=\"jwplayer-1\"><\/div>\n<script type='text\/javascript'>\n                    function addLoadEvent1(func) {\n                      var oldonload = window.onload;\n                      if (typeof window.onload != 'function') {\n                        window.onload = func\n                      } else {\n                        window.onload = function() {\n                          if (oldonload) {\n                            oldonload()\n                          }\n                          func()\n                        }\n                      }\n                    }\n\n                    function ping1() {\n                      var ping = new Image();\n                      ping.src = 'http:\/\/i.n.jwpltx.com\/v1\/wordpress\/ping.gif?e=features&s=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.stroke4carers.org&controlbar=bottom&dock=false&autostart=false&height=294&width=480&icons=true&item=0&playlist=_&playlistsize=180&repeat=none&shuffle=false&bufferlength=60&smoothing=false&stretching=uniform&mute=false&volume=90&screencolor=990066&provider=video&mediaid=5437&image=%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fvid_family_friends.jpg&file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.stroke4carers.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FHOW_FAMILY_AND_FRIENDS_HELP.mp4&title=HOW_FAMILY_AND_FRIENDS_HELP&creator=&author=&date=2011-10-31+15%3A46%3A11&description=&modes=_';\n                    }\n\n                    addLoadEvent1(ping1);\n                  <\/script><\/div>\n<script type='text\/javascript'>jwplayer('jwplayer-1').setup({\"flashplayer\":\"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/jw-player-plugin-for-wordpress\/player\/player.swf\",\"width\":\"480\",\"height\":\"294\",\"controlbar\":\"bottom\",\"dock\":\"false\",\"autostart\":\"false\",\"icons\":\"true\",\"item\":\"0\",\"playlist\":\"none\",\"playlistsize\":\"180\",\"repeat\":\"none\",\"shuffle\":\"false\",\"bufferlength\":\"60\",\"smoothing\":\"false\",\"stretching\":\"uniform\",\"mute\":\"false\",\"volume\":\"90\",\"screencolor\":\"990066\",\"provider\":\"video\",\"mediaid\":\"5437\",\"image\":\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/vid_family_friends.jpg\",\"file\":\"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/HOW_FAMILY_AND_FRIENDS_HELP.mp4\",\"title\":\"HOW_FAMILY_AND_FRIENDS_HELP\",\"creator\":\"\",\"author\":\"\",\"date\":\"2011-10-31 15:46:11\",\"description\":\"\",\"modes\":[{\"type\":\"flash\",\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/jw-player-plugin-for-wordpress\/player\/player.swf\"},{\"type\":\"html5\",\"config\":{\"streamer\":\"\",\"provider\":\"\"}},{\"type\":\"download\",\"config\":{\"streamer\":\"\",\"provider\":\"\"}}]});<\/script><\/p>\n<p><strong>Video running time:<\/strong> 07.27 minutes. The film may take time to download depending on your broadband speed.<br \/>\nTo enlarge to full screen click on the arrows at the bottom right of the frame.<\/p>\n<p>If you are having problems playing the video, <a href=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/HOW_FAMILY_AND_FRIENDS_HELP.mp4\" onMouseUp=\"_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Videos', 'Download', 'How family and friends can help']);\">download the clip here [.mp4, 29.0 MB]<\/a> (Right click this link, and \u201cSave As\u201d).<\/p>\n<div id=\"accordion\" class=\"textAlt\">\n<p class=\"expand\"><a href=\"#\">View Voice Over Transcript<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"expand\">\n<p>Question:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cCan I ask you a slightly different question?.\u201d \u201cHow do your other family and friends help you?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Pauline:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cImmediate family are brilliant\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Frank:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cConnor is brilliant.\u201d \u201cMy boys were away on holiday and they are well organised and\u2026.\u201d \u201cIf it\u2019s done slowly and there\u2019s no problem, there\u2019s no\u2026\u201d \u201cBecause I am in a comfortable environment.\u201d(hesitates) \u201cWhen I\u2019m in a comfortable environment with the right people as I was trying to explain earlier on.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m comfortable and I can communicate quite easily and have a laugh.\u201d \u201cConnor won\u2019t allow me to make a mistake verbally.\u201d \u201cI\u2019ve, we\u2019ve had conversations when we\u2019ve been sitting or talking about something and Connor would just stop.\u201d \u201cNormally at night we done the dishes together so we\u2019ve got communication every night.\u201d \u201cWe do the dishes together and talk about his schooling, what\u2019s been happening, blah, blah.\u201d \u201dAnd if there\u2019s something happens and I can\u2019t understand, my brain\u2019s not working again, He will stop the word and he\u2019ll go, right.\u201d \u201cCom-un-i-cation.\u201d \u201cSay it after me com-un\u2026and this is an eleven year old boy is teaching me!.\u201d \u201cBut he will not just say the word.\u201d \u201cHe will insist that I\u2019ve to say it and it\u2019s not good enough for me to go OK, that\u2019s right.\u201d \u201cNo, come on speak.\u201d \u201cTell me the whole word.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Pauline:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cHe doesn\u2019t do that as much now, it\u2019s a lot better now, but he did do it at the beginning.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Frank:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cAnd that\u2019s how communication worked in our house by doing that, because Pauline started it that way.\u201d \u201cNow because I\u2019m getting a wee bit blas\u00e9 about some of the things that I think I can do, yeah, Pauline will just sit and go..\u201d \u201cIf I\u2019m having a, trying to say something about something.\u201d \u201cA TV programme or anything.\u201d \u201cPauline will just sit and go.\u201d \u201cExactly what you are doing, hand to the side.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Pauline:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cGet on with it.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Frank:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cGet on with it.\u201d \u201cGet on with it and a good percentage of the time by the time I\u2019ve tried to remember the word that I wanted to say in the first place, which I can\u2019t remember, so I\u2019ll change it to another word.\u201d \u201cAnd I\u2019ve come up with an idea of another word, I\u2019ve then forgotten what the sentence was that I wanted the number or the name for.\u201d \u201cAnd that\u2019s when I\u2019ll go I\u2019m gonna need you to help me.\u201d \u201cWhy? You can remember it.\u201d \u201dBut I\u2019m still gonna need a help to remember what I was going to say in the first place.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Pauline:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cThat\u2019s when we\u2019ll go back over it then sort of go through it and see what the word was that he was looking for.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Frank:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cEspecially when I\u2026\u201d \u201cI foolishly made a mistake by trying to make a big worded sentence and I couldn\u2019t get the word out.\u201d \u201cCould not communicate and\u2026\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Pauline:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cCan you remember what the word was?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Frank:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cNo but Pauline decided this is the original, how dictionaries were constructed.\u201d \u201cBy people coming up with their own words and\u2026\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Pauline:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cIt\u2019s because we were having, we were messing around.\u201d \u201cI can\u2019t remember why we were messing around but we were and he\u2019d said something about me.\u201d \u201c He wanted to say that I was manipulating him.\u201d \u201cOr I\u2019d manipulated the situation and it came out as manapulated him.\u201d \u201cSo we\u2019ve decided that this is a new word.\u201d \u201cSo we quite often now use it.\u201d \u201cAre you manapulating?\u201d \u201cWe have no idea if this is a word, we\u2019ve not bothered to look it up.\u201d \u201cBut if it is a word , we now want it in the dictionary.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Frank:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cSo if you see that word in the dictionary you know where it was first.\u201d(laughs)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Pauline:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cBut it happens quite a lot.\u201d \u201cThere are times when we go to say something and we do..\u201d \u201cTo be quite honest we laugh an awful lot now.\u201d \u201cAt first, there was a lot of tears, a lot of heartache and coming to terms with it was really hard.\u201d \u201cBut basically, now we laugh an awful lot about it.\u201d \u201cBecause it\u2019s our way of dealing with it.\u201d \u201cIf he\u2019s gonna get it wrong, he\u2019s gonna get it wrong.\u201d \u201cIf it\u2019s just between me, him and Connor and he gets it wrong, who really cares?\u201d \u201cWe don\u2019t care.\u201d \u201cIf he\u2019s got to talk to somebody in authority, yes it matters a little bit more, but tough.\u201d \u201cThey can wait.\u201d \u201cTalking to me, yeah, I\u2019ll laugh at him sometimes or yeah, if he\u2019s going over and over something then yeah, I may have to give in and I may have to say it\u2019s this word, say it.\u201d \u201cHe\u2019ll go right I know what it is.\u201d \u201cAnd then you really have to prompt him to go, you need to say the word because you need to get it into your head for the next time you are going to need it.\u201d \u201cAnd he\u2019ll do that now, he wouldn\u2019t at first but he will now.\u201d \u201cAnd then I think the more that you can sort of just keep having a go, if you like.\u201d \u201chaving a go at him because sometimes he\u2019ll go, switch off , I\u2019m not playing\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t want to know and becomes a child.\u201d \u201cHe has a go at my kids for doing that but he is very good at doing that and very classic for himself to do it.\u201d \u201cI don\u2019t want to do it, I\u2019m not playing\u201d \u201cNormally the stuff he gets from the hospital.\u201d \u201cthe speech therapy stuff, he\u2019ll look at some of that and say I\u2019m not doing that.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s babyish.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m not a baby. And it\u2019s like, well you still need to do it\u201d \u201cBecause it\u2019s repetitive and you have to do it so that\u2019s how\u2026\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Frank:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cAnd does it get done?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Pauline:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cYes, eventually.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Frank:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cThat\u2019s as long as\u2026\u201d \u201cJust in case some of the workers about here actually see it and they go he\u2019s not been doing any of it.\u201d \u201cBut I\u2019m saying at this moment in time, I\u2019ve been doing a lot of it.\u201d \u201cMaybe don\u2019t like a lot of it but I, it gets done.\u201d(laughs)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Question:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cWhat\u2019s the best help that other people can give to you?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Frank:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u201cHow can they help?\u201d \u201cTime.\u201d(pause) \u201cTime.\u201d \u201cListen to, maybe no listen to me but listen to what I\u2019m trying to say and communicate slowly.\u201d \u201cAllow other people to communicate slowly.\u201d \u201cBe aware.\u201d \u201cThey have to.\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s a horrible thing that\u2019s happened and it\u2019s very difficult to communicate.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Video running time: 07.27 minutes. The film may take time to download depending on your broadband speed. To enlarge to full screen click on the arrows at the bottom right of the frame. 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