{"id":6100,"date":"2015-02-13T12:44:03","date_gmt":"2015-02-13T12:44:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/?page_id=6100"},"modified":"2015-06-12T16:13:43","modified_gmt":"2015-06-12T15:13:43","slug":"behaviour-changes-non-youtube-version","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/?page_id=6100","title":{"rendered":"Behaviour changes (non-YouTube version)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-2456\" title=\"Couple holding hands\" src=\"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/changed_behaviour.jpg\" alt=\"Couple holding hands\" width=\"229\" height=\"300\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Changes in behaviour<\/strong> are more common after stroke than most people realise. In general people know that a stroke causes physical problems but because the function of the brain is so complex, aspects of the persons behaviour can also be affected. As a carer you may be the first to know there is a problem if the change is subtle. In some people the change may be very obvious. It is difficult to predict if the changes can improve, some people do not have a permanent change. However there are no guarantees. There is usually a period of adapting and coping involved by the person themselves and in you as the carer.<\/p>\n<p>The following people are speaking about their effect of stroke on themselves and their family.<\/p>\n<p><div id=\"jwplayer-1-div\" class=\"STARS\">\n<div id=\"jwplayer-1\"><\/div>\n<script type='text\/javascript'>\n                    function addLoadEvent1(func) {\n                      var oldonload = window.onload;\n                      if (typeof window.onload != 'function') {\n                        window.onload = func\n                      } else {\n                        window.onload = function() {\n                          if (oldonload) {\n                            oldonload()\n                          }\n                          func()\n                        }\n                      }\n                    }\n\n                    function ping1() {\n                      var ping = new Image();\n                      ping.src = 'http:\/\/i.n.jwpltx.com\/v1\/wordpress\/ping.gif?e=features&s=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.stroke4carers.org&controlbar=bottom&dock=false&autostart=false&height=294&width=480&icons=true&item=0&playlist=_&playlistsize=180&repeat=none&shuffle=false&bufferlength=60&smoothing=false&stretching=uniform&mute=false&volume=90&screencolor=990066&provider=video&mediaid=6072&image=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.stroke4carers.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FPersonAndFamilyLQ.jpg&file=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.stroke4carers.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FPersonAndFamilyLQ.mp4&title=PersonAndFamilyLQ&creator=&author=&date=2015-02-13+11%3A32%3A16&description=&modes=_';\n                    }\n\n                    addLoadEvent1(ping1);\n                  <\/script><\/div>\n<script type='text\/javascript'>jwplayer('jwplayer-1').setup({\"flashplayer\":\"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/jw-player-plugin-for-wordpress\/player\/player.swf\",\"width\":\"480\",\"height\":\"294\",\"controlbar\":\"bottom\",\"dock\":\"false\",\"autostart\":\"false\",\"icons\":\"true\",\"item\":\"0\",\"playlist\":\"none\",\"playlistsize\":\"180\",\"repeat\":\"none\",\"shuffle\":\"false\",\"bufferlength\":\"60\",\"smoothing\":\"false\",\"stretching\":\"uniform\",\"mute\":\"false\",\"volume\":\"90\",\"screencolor\":\"990066\",\"provider\":\"video\",\"mediaid\":\"6072\",\"image\":\"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/PersonAndFamilyLQ.jpg\",\"file\":\"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/PersonAndFamilyLQ.mp4\",\"title\":\"PersonAndFamilyLQ\",\"creator\":\"\",\"author\":\"\",\"date\":\"2015-02-13 11:32:16\",\"description\":\"\",\"modes\":[{\"type\":\"flash\",\"src\":\"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/jw-player-plugin-for-wordpress\/player\/player.swf\"},{\"type\":\"html5\",\"config\":{\"streamer\":\"\",\"provider\":\"\"}},{\"type\":\"download\",\"config\":{\"streamer\":\"\",\"provider\":\"\"}}]});<\/script><\/p>\n<p><strong>Video running time:<\/strong> 08.16 minutes. The film may take time to download depending on your broadband speed.<br \/>\nTo enlarge to full screen click on the arrows at the bottom right of the frame.<\/p>\n<p>If you are having problems playing the video, <a onmouseup=\"_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Videos', 'Download', 'The effect of stroke on the person and their family']);\" href=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/PersonAndFamilyLQ.mp4\">download the clip here [.mp4, 38.5 MB]<\/a> (Right click this link, and \u201cSave As\u201d).<\/p>\n<div id=\"accordion\" class=\"textAlt\">\n<p class=\"expand\"><a href=\"#\">View Voice Over Transcript<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"expand\">\n<p><strong>Fran and Derek<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>How did you feel about having these difficulties with your mood?<\/p>\n<p>Again very frustrating because it is affecting my family life, to a certain extent.<\/p>\n<p>In what way do you think?<\/p>\n<p>I can be a bit nippy with my partner and the kids, again just out of frustration. And I&#8217;ve dealt with that one as well<\/p>\n<p>And how did you do that?<\/p>\n<p>Again just&#8230; its just a matter of taking away your problems, sitting back and thinking through and realising why you&#8217;re doing this.<\/p>\n<p>And remembering why you&#8217;re doing this and then thinking of a solution and applying the solution.<\/p>\n<p>Did they notice any changes in you?<\/p>\n<p>Oh yes definitely.<\/p>\n<p>In day to day activities and things?<\/p>\n<p>I used to muck around with them, now I couldn&#8217;t. So again&#8230; it was mood changes and I wasn&#8217;t so happy go lucky as I was before.<\/p>\n<p>So they&#8217;ve had to deal with that as well but they dealt brilliantly with it.<\/p>\n<p>Do you talk about these things with your family?<\/p>\n<p>Oh definitely when I do something stupid we all sit down and&#8230; try and explain with each other what the hell&#8230; I&#8217;m doing, why am I thinking and doing what I&#8217;m doing so we find that quite&#8230; good.<\/p>\n<p>They understand me a bit more from doing that.<\/p>\n<p>Did you ever have instances when your family were saying one thing and<br \/>\nyou felt that you were unable to understand why they were saying that?<\/p>\n<p>Yes&#8230; oh very often, as I said before I used to say things and do things that were way out there. And my partner especially would sit me down and say &#8220;why are you doing that? Why can&#8217;t you do it this way like you used to?&#8221; and I&#8217;d just say &#8220;well I don&#8217;t know, I don&#8217;t think the same now&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Luckily I&#8217;ve got the best partner in the world who&#8217;s got the patience with me to actually sit down and talk to me and explain to me what I&#8217;m doing wrong etc etc. and I can&#8230; sit back and think yeah she&#8217;s right aye, definitely<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Fran and Neil<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>And then you had this meeting with your wife present.<\/p>\n<p>Yeah.<\/p>\n<p>How did you feel about her coming along to hear all this with you?<\/p>\n<p>I thought that was crucial actually, I mean from her point of view it was. She was&#8230; she was more angry than I was from the stroke.<\/p>\n<p>&#8230;and I don&#8217;t know if that was a combination of me in the early years of the&#8230; early months of the stroke<\/p>\n<p>Just [sigh] you know just still confused<\/p>\n<p>You had a lot to think about?<\/p>\n<p>Yeah and so I was more&#8230; I was less angry about it. But my wife was&#8230; angry about it you know, from saying you know, why has this happened to us, sort of conversation.<\/p>\n<p>It was good for my wife to come to the sessions with a psychologist, because he could explain to her what was going on and why Neil was doing this, but more importantly it allowed a psychologist to explain some of the issues that I was struggling with. That I would forget to explain when I got back to her later on.<\/p>\n<p>And how was the effect on the children, because they were quite small weren&#8217;t they?<\/p>\n<p>I think that is an issue that really needs to be looked at more and more. Because especially if the children are young, as mine were&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>I think with children people tend to, certainly if I think back to my time so, Neil&#8217;s had a stroke, friends are fantastic, support are great.<\/p>\n<p>We came back from the hospital, support for my wife were wonderful, you know, there was meals made, lots of support wonderful support.<\/p>\n<p>For the children the conversation would be &#8220;how are you?&#8221; and they&#8217;d go &#8220;yeah fine&#8221;, because they are really young and so they&#8217;re left from that point of view.<\/p>\n<p>I am&#8230;well I know today actually that the effects of what happened in Arran when they were 8, 3 and 11 has affected them for life. Because it was such a shock to&#8230; see what happened to dad.<\/p>\n<p>So I went to the hospital, the cottage hospital. We went to the harbour and they put me into the ambulance and I can remember the doors shutting and my daughter bless her going bananas absolutely screaming.<\/p>\n<p>Sam, who was 3 at the time just completely confused and my eldest son was upset as well.<\/p>\n<p>Now that obviously psychologically has a huge effect on them, I think and still today. You know my youngest out the blue will say &#8220;you remember when you had that stroke Dad at Arran?&#8221; and he&#8217;ll just say something completely out the blue, so its definitely affected them.<\/p>\n<p>&#8230;what the outcomes will be I have no idea. I mean some of them might be good [laughs] because what it did do, it put us together much closer as a family because I was there.<\/p>\n<p>You know far more than I used to be so there were some benefits in the long term I guess. But I think psychologically it&#8217;s really tough on the kids.<\/p>\n<p>They just don&#8217;t really understand it or to be better&#8230; people aren&#8217;t explained<br \/>\nproperly to them what&#8217;s gone on.<\/p>\n<p>[in language that they can understand]<\/p>\n<p>The language they can understand. Yeah.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Fran and Marion<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Again coming back to your family once you&#8217;d started to see the psychologist, did you tell them about what was happening?<\/p>\n<p>Oh yes, I started&#8230; my daughter, as I say is very close to me and I started telling her she was very interested to find out you know what and how this had actually gone.<\/p>\n<p>And I started explaining this and telling her, and she actually said to me within a very short period of time, she said the difference is absolutely<br \/>\namazing, she said because you really are now starting to believe in yourself and you are believing that you can do these things.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><strong>Fran and Murdoch<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote><p>So how did all this affect your family?<\/p>\n<p>I kept most of it to myself. Both with my partner and also with my&#8230; I&#8217;ve got two grown up girls. I very rarely talked.<\/p>\n<p>In fact I think I spoke to one of them at one stage&#8230; but didn&#8217;t really.<\/p>\n<p>This was my problem and I wasn&#8217;t going to pass it onto them.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s the way that I viewed the thing at that point.<\/p>\n<p>So what&#8217;s one of the most important things you&#8217;ve learnt out of all this entire process?<\/p>\n<p>Just sharing things with people. Opening up, trying to create a<br \/>\nsituation where, if you can find that opportunity to do that, is to seek out that opportunity you know.<\/p>\n<p>It might not be appropriate to speak to your partner at certain times about certain things then maybe find someone else.<\/p>\n<p>Yeah I mean I think that&#8217;s the&#8230; single most important thing that happened in the course of that process is moving into something with a degree of skepticism.<\/p>\n<p>And within a fairly short period of time coming out with a much more balanced and much more positive view of something, which was sitting down with a complete stranger to talk about something that was very private.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Changes in behaviour are more common after stroke than most people realise. In general people know that a stroke causes physical problems but because the function of the brain is so complex, aspects of the persons behaviour can also be &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/?page_id=6100\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":39,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"onecolumn-page.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-6100","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6100","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/39"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6100"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6100\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6181,"href":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/6100\/revisions\/6181"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.stroke4carers.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6100"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}